The home of the haikulator



Sentence Generators
My Stand-up & gigs
The Coding Craftsman

The Musical!
Incredible Productions


Previous Posts

I feel decidedly better. I've no idea what date my...
What a surreal couple of days. I woke up yesterday...
Ok. I'll come clean. I'm in London this year for t...
Now I'm in Starbucks. I'm a roving internet whore....
A quick bit of bloggage from the EasyInternet cafe...
Christmas and the Morecambe and Wise Christmas Spe...
I couldn't help it my dander was up (review 20).
Speaks for itself:
A bit of creative writing: As she walked across t...
The last working day of the year and I arrived lat...

Blog Archives

October 2001
November 2001
December 2001
January 2002
February 2002
March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
August 2009
September 2009
January 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
October 2011
December 2011
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
May 2014
July 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
January 2016
February 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
July 2016
August 2017
January 2018
August 2018
September 2018
July 2019
August 2019
May 2020
June 2020
July 2020
August 2020
September 2020
December 2020
January 2021

Friday, January 2

Still awake, alive and kicking. Not a bad result for the second day of the new year.

I've managed to put a stunning non-entity of a poem online for the pleasure of my fans (all none of you). Called On a notepad in starbucks it was written on a... you can guess the rest.

Today saw me spending some time outside of the house and I've been away from my duvets for a staggering 7 hours already without feeling the need to curl up in the foetal position and mewl. This is a good result. However, there was much confusion and disappointment to be had over the course of my voyage through the real world - or at least the world in as real a form as it gets on Friday the 2nd of January 2004.

The thought of a cooked breakfast from Tesco made me giggle with glee as I contemplated it in the wee small hours of this morning. 4 or 5am, I think it was. I can be forgiven. I hadn't eaten properly in two days and my appetite was recovering. I find it hard not to eat - even when my stomach and metabolism have shut down, there's a psychological problem I have with not eating. Who am I without my food intake? Clearly I have a food-related personality. Anyway, the beauty of a Tesco breakfast is that it's served all day. This is good, not because I intended to eat it for the entire duration of the day (that would be a crap joke) but because I knew that I had to sleep, wake, shower, dress and maybe even stick some shirts in the washing machine before finally reaching the in-store cafe of which dreams and late-night/early-morning giggles are made.

I arrived at Tesco to find that their cafe was no longer in existence.

In fairness to them it was a product of some current in-store development. I was disappointed, but I vowed to be resourceful. There's an Asda Hypermarket at the Metro Centre. It has an in-store cafe. It wasn't far away. I know how to get there. I'm very good with routes and that. All I had to do was pray that they had an all day breakfast.

Asda do serve breakfast and they had a vast quantity of the ingredients required to serve me a rip-roaring breakfast. I was thrilled. I had a choice of the "super six" - six items, "big breakfast" - several more items, or "Full Monty" which looked outrageous, including three of everything, except for fried eggs (only one) and hash browns (two). I hadn't eaten in two days, but I was keen on moderation and so decided on the "big breakfast". Not too big, but big enough for me. I was happy. I had my order planned and it was only about £2.18 or something equally inexpensive - that's Asda price.

It was 11.45 when I ordered. Breakfast ends at 11.30. My request "a big breakfast please" was answered with "no". I didn't miss a beat. I didn't even lose my temper. I simply answered pragmatically - "Please may I have the nearest equivalent". I was told that I was going to be given the "mega brunch" - £2.98. It sounded big. It was huge. They'd taken the full monty, swapped the hash browns for chips and added a fried egg. I wasn't going to argue. So long as there was brown sauce and a coffee, I was going to be happy, and if I couldn't eat it all, then I wouldn't need to go home in tears.

Coffee was another bizarre thing. They had "instant" and "fresh ground" coffee, both from a machine, made by Kenco with about 10p price difference. I don't know about you, dear reader, but I'd always prefer the better quality drink. Asda choose to provide both. Why? Surely if you account for the complexities of keeping two sets of supplies and the wastage and the people on the fiddle, buying the more expensive and claiming it's the cheaper... well, surely you could take 5p off the price of the more expensive and sell only that. Everyone's a winner, then. I bought the fresh ground and was honest about it.

I managed to eat the huge plate of food I was handed by the lady at the counter.

It strikes me as a little inflexible to call an end to breakfast when all that means is that you've stopped making hash browns. All day breakfasts rule. At the very least, I'd have preferred to have been offered a subsitute for the missing hash brown on my big breakfast, rather than be loaded with a hell of a lot more food... which I ate anyway... in fact, never mind. It could have been worse. I like food.

I was so disappointed in Asda that I proceeded to spend a good 45 minutes shopping there. (So not really all that bothered) I have purchased a number of essentials and goodies for the next week. I'm still trying to avoid behaving like my own carer ("You like them, don't you?") but perhaps I appreciate how lucky I am to have someone to take care of me, even if it is me. I may have been away with the fairies a bit over the past couple of days, but I've managed to keep myself safe and warm. I'm recovered (ish) and pretty much ready for the year ahead. At the very least, I can face the weekend. Life could be a lot harder.

And on that bombshell, I must get on with something productive.


Post a Comment

<< Home

All content ©2001 - 2020 Ashley Frieze