Fun at the garden centre... I thought I'd lost the battle of wits, when the till assistant, having emptied my trolley of everything except the chipped bark, said "I just need to get your bark" and I responded with "Well, it's worse than my bite". Instant regret... how on earth do you get out of that crap one-liner? She seemed to appreciate that I knew it was a crap line and forgave me, even suggesting that she'd never heard that before.. perhaps she had, or maybe she had not because noone else would have dared say something so crap.

However, my parting comment of "Right, now to get these home, dig them in, and see which ones die!", seemed to hit my usual cruising speed. It's a comical thing to see a middle-aged woman snorting and sniggering in a Garden Centre on a Sunday afternoon - this was the task of the lady behind me in response to my quip. Perhaps I was being too truthful, but I don't mind. I shall be watching intently to see exactly how much of my hard-earned cash turns into expensive compost in front of my very eyes over the next few months. Now I know what the tags on plants are for - they're a memento of the money you spent, for when all you have left is a patch of weeds.