The world's most insincere luncheon invitation - "You're not coming out to lunch with us are you?" - actually, I wasn't. I was just headed to the sandwich shop, still it was nice of him to ask!

I think it's about time I fell in love. Any offers for a slightly-soiled 29-year-old overweight chap with a moderate amount of hair-loss, reasonable sense of humour, GCH and VISA?