As a brief aside, one good thing has been the company of Stephen King's novel "Cell", which has kept my mind occupied when my body wasn't. It's probably also a good thing that my weightloss seems to be continuing, or the doldrums would be erupting into full-blown rage.
However, this week is still not fun, and today has been the worst so far. I've had two of my 3 gigs of the week cancelled. On the up side, at least I won't have to go running around into the middle of London for them. On the down side, my gig diary is now feeling very empty. Gigs were cancelled because they were not running, rather than because they didn't want me.
Today's big fuss was down to the fact that I took some initiative and did something my way in the code I'm working on. This was bound to cause trouble and I could have predicted that. I also didn't manage to be smart enough by covering my arse with some neatly written documents and diagrams predicting that I'd do what I did. As a result, I appeared not to have done what I was asked to do and, instead, appeared to have gone wandering off in my own odd direction, rather than where we should have gone.
I truly believe that what I've done is functionally equivalent to what was asked/required. However, that's immaterial. I have smoothed things over, but I feel like I've lost my "can't put a foot wrong" image - even if that was only in my own head.
Tonight's The Night In Bright-on
In a few minutes I'm heading off to Brighton to do a comedy set. I worry slightly about this because it seems like quite an eclectic night I'm off to, but I'm sure I'll find something to amuse them with. If I don't, then I'll call it art.
I think I've been taking out some of my frustrations on a task which has recently started bothering me. I signed myself up (foolishly in my opinion) to do a 6 night run as part of "The Camden Fringe", which is a euphemism for "let's see if we can get some people who aren't in Edinburgh to fill our otherwise dark theatre for us". The theatre is the Etcetera, which I used for The Musical! back in July. I'm only down to do a 20 minute spot as part of an hour-long show. It will be with two other comedians. All comedians believe that all they have to do is turn up and the show will be great. Indeed, there's a good reason that comedians don't put on shows themselves - it's bloody hard work to promote a show.
However, when it comes to Fringe shows, the only way to get an audience is to promote it yourself. Unless have Off The Kerb or Karushi working their magic behind the scenes, people don't just magically turn up. I talked myself out of my naive belief that people would just come and now I've had to give the other two acts involved in the show a reality check too. In fairness, both of them have been really nice about it, and I fear I've been a bit of a dick about it. However, I was a bit stressed out by some of the early reactions they gave to the venue's request for publicity info and my suggestions that we publicise the show ourselves.
Annoyingly, the lady who runs the Etcetera has remembered how to push my buttons and make me feel like a producer again. As a result, I'm now worrying about bums on seats and wires again. It has been a couple of years since I first started this obsession and the situation now is very difficult. I proved what I wanted to prove with The Musical! and now I feel a bit like I'm going through the motions. I don't quite have the confidence in "Three Stand-ups You've Never Heard of For £7.50" - not the catchiest of names - that I had in my magum opus.
Still, we'll get some flyers, hand some out, put up some posters and maybe Robert will turn out to be our father's brother.