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Tuesday, November 14

Piling On The Stress

Is this some kind of test? (I know it's not, because that would suggest that a: there's a grand plan, and b: it revolves around me in some way.) Everything is stressful at the moment. Work is in enough of a state of flux for me not to yet be on top of things. My house-buying plans have hit stumbling blocks and are still held back by them. My stand-up is faltering a bit. I have hit a weight-loss plateau (which is a euphemism for "I can't be bothered to work off any more weight at the moment"). To top it all off, when I decided to leave work early yesterday in order to get home in time to pick my bike up, I ended up with a two hour - TWO HOUR - journey. It usually takes 45 minutes (often less).

Ridiculous.

There are consolations. I still have plenty of episodes of "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" to listen to. I've also just discovered how amusing it is to listen to a James Bond soundtrack while the maintenance man in the office climbs a ladder: there's all this exciting music and he's gingerly climbing his step ladder - looking inside the roof space with a torch - it's like any minute some ninjas are going to jump out!

It would go without saying, but if I didn't write it, then there would be a hole, that I got home last night with frayed nerves. I don't want to waste my time in the office or in the traffic. I don't want to be in a constant state of anticipation of some sort of positive development. I just want to get on with things and have some sense of forward motion and ownership of something or other. This is difficult for me at the moment.

I should probably do some ironing. That would be ironic. No. Ironing!

Anyway.

After eating last night, we went out to see The Prestige this is a film all about a pressure cooker. No it isn't that's just a really bad joke about pans. In fact the movie, another collaboration between director Christopher Nolan and actor Christian Bale, was excellent. I kept asking whether I'd been suckered into it, and whether it wasn't, in fact, a load of crap, but there were no moments that made me go "oh come on". In fact, the more you think about it, the more you realise how neatly put together it is as how all the clues to the secrets of the film were really laid before your eyes from the first scene. Excellent work.

Still feeling listless after returning home, we did no listing and, instead, went to Asda for some late night clothes perusal. We came back with two new shirts, one of which I'm wearing today, and the other of which is too fancy to wear.

Then, in a shock move of effort on my part, I connected up my CD writer and burned a CD that I've been meaning to burn for a while. Result! I thought I was too apathetic to achieve even that much.

Not a bad end to yesterday, but I look forward to having the motivation I need to be more me and less flat. Flat in terms of ironed shirts and reduced waist and bust is acceptable.

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