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Monday, March 19


The publishing of this blog is tricky at the moment and it's having a very discouraging effect on me. I want to blog stuff, but the thought of having to either struggle to get it online, or not get it online immediately, makes me question why bothering. I guess I like the immediacy of the push-button publishing I got accustomed to.

I can't quite see where the problem is. It's frustrating.

Also in the frustrating category is doing a gig to an apathetic room where they're talking over you. Such was Friday's gig and, sadly, such was tonight's. Although I purposely through some laughter-pauses at my audience this evening and heard them fill with the expected laugh (god, it sounds so predictable - like some sort of well-rehearsed ritual), I also came off stage feeling like it had been a tepid gig, compared both with last time I played there, and also the gargantuan effort I made on Friday to quell and raise laughs from the near-impossible audience.

The last act did a really good gig tonight and that's either because I managed to bring the room into a state that was ready for comedy, or because he was simply better at smoothing a room into a receptive state. Maybe both. Probably just the one which doesn't make me feel better about myself.

I didn't get the endorphine rush of a job well done. I didn't get the depressing loneliness of a job done badly. I just got a sense of ambivalence. I was also a little sad about the state of students today.

One of the organisers was very complimentary towards me, remembering the last performance I did. I hope that tonight's showing doesn't knock the shine off otherwise happy memories.

So, I played to rabble, silence and the occasional laughs. Big deal. Tomorrow I get to go and play in a little fringe theatre in London. And I get to do a dance. And I get to have a day off after. Yay.

Today I had a sleep in (I didn't get back until well late last night, so it's ok) and then went on the DIY buying rounds. Then, DIY stuff bought, I fitted some lights, a switch (though I regret the switches I've committed to) and then spent about 3 hours sanding all my primer and then painting gloss paint. I hate gloss paint. I hate dust getting into the paint. I had dusted before I started painting - vacuumed in fact. I hate dribbles too. I specifically hate cleaning gloss paint brushes. I made a reasonable fist of it, but I suspect the brush will start losing its hairs from now on, and there's no point in shaving it to grade 0.


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