I do have to wonder why I write as much as I do. I've written well over 10,000 words this month already. Last month was about 15,000 words. The bizarre thing is that I don't even remember writing any of it. The last few weeks have been a blur. I used to write my blog as I woke up in the morning in the office. I'd have my morning coffee, check my email, write a bit of a blog, get ready for the day ahead and then get going on the work. Now, I'm too busy. I'm too busy to do it at lunchtime, I'm too busy for lunch sometimes. I'm too busy even to play my Facebook Scrabble moves at lunchtime, so I play them at home at night... provided I'm not too busy. The blog has become relegated.

So where are all these words coming from? Surely I'm writing them? I did once write the "auto-blogger", which came up with some bizarre thoughts, based on my blog, but in computer generated stylee. However, I didn't ever deploy that because it somewhat misses the point.

Anyway, it's all very well having all of these words, but who would read them? I don't think I can be bothered to at the moment. I think I'm trying to write up most of the days I'm experiencing this year, with as much detail as I can remember at the time of writing to give me something to look back to when I eventually have the nervous breakdown to see what caused it.

According to the logs which I set up a while ago, feeling somewhat self-interested, there are about 100 readers of something from this blog each day. However, some of my pages are really high Google hits for really bizarre stuff, so the number of genuine readers is probably nearer 10. 10 people a day read this crap. Really?

Whoever you are: thanks!

I should probably set about reading the whole thing. There have been some amusing moments along the way, some of which might make good stand-up fodder. There have been some downs and some very downs. Bizarrely, when I'm at a very low ebb, the blog is a lot funnier. I take failure in high-comic-spirits.

However, some of this stuff is just self-indulgent moaning. I've been quite neurotic this year. I don't feel it now, particularly, but I know I've been remarkably flimsy.

Thanks for reading. Keep going. Who knows - this may be the time when my luck changes and the blog turns into the heart-warming story of someone finding true happiness and putting his life back in order.