When Lionel Bart wrote Fings ain't what they used to be, he didn't mean this networking tool (Fing) was going through product revisions. He wrote about a much more universal truth. Time moves forwards and as a result things change.

I could reference this back to a book I read recently - Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut. I just found out I could have borrow this rather than spend the better part of £7 buying it. I wish I had. It didn't seem to be worth the money. Though a book with some merits, it feel very much like the author was just having a wank onto the page, rather than structuring his thoughts into something that might be considered a story, a character piece or even any form of consistent narrative.

The central idea of Timequake is that something happened that robbed the world of freewill by forcing it to go into replay for 10 years. Things became what they used to be and everyone was forced to relive them again. Nice idea. Would have made a good book. Not this one. Though in fairness to Mr Vonnegut, he was deliberately using the idea of not having a book to show for his idea to blend a bunch of his real world experience with a fictional world to counterpoint free will against fate or somesuch.

There was a time that I understood the books I chose to read.

There was a time when I'd have been in Edinburgh for a week of the Fringe by this stage of the year, or even more some years.

There was a time when people treated certain shows with more respect. I read with interest that a particularly dreadful comedian chose a children's show as the place to invade the stage and exercise a vendetta with another comedian. I say exercise, not exorcise, since I suspect this comedian was taking her anger for a run, not trying to resolve it.

There was a time when certain comedy promoters valued my contribution to their work, rather than ignored me.

There was a time when I gigged three times a week.

I have a head full of paint fumes from repainting the hall, stairs and landing at home. I've nearly done this job before. Last time I did, Easter bank holiday in 2007, it was a pretty basic job. One coat. Not perfect, but not too bad. Three of us worked at it and then we stopped.

This time we're trying to do it properly. Notwithstanding the harakiri flies, landing in and spoiling my lovely paintwork, I think we're getting great results. It's just a bloody long job. The statistics...

- Upstairs: 6 doors of 7 complete.
- Downstairs: 2 doors of 5 complete, 1 radiator at one coat.

- Skirting boards get done with their door partner.

- One light-fitting of two is fitted.

And that's before you even talk about the staircase, which my wife has systematically painted about four times, what with primers, undercoats and, now, two topcoats.

When this is done, and the carpet/flooring is down, the house will be different.

It's good when time marches forward in the right direction.