The home of the haikulator



My Stand-up & gigs
The Coding Craftsman

The Musical!
Incredible Productions


Previous Posts

Oh dear oh dear. Listening to old tapes of when I ...
Old Tapes
Last night's gig was... well... different. I've no...
An offer I made to my work colleagues - I'll make ...
A classic ebay auction... read the description in ...
Buying tights in M&S today - I felt like everyone ...
Spam is comedy gold. Here's another classic: Fr...
I had to laugh out loud at this subject line on on...
Straight talkin' rocks Sometimes it would be cool...
Today was something of a mixed bag of nuts. Woken ...

Blog Archives

October 2001
November 2001
December 2001
January 2002
February 2002
March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
August 2009
September 2009
January 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
October 2011
December 2011
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
May 2014
July 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
January 2016
February 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
July 2016
August 2017
January 2018
August 2018
September 2018

Global Domination

Locations of visitors to this page

Sunday, April 18

I think, all things considered, I'd like to have another go at today. I don't want to go into Groundhog Day mode and relive today repetitively until I get it right, but it has been a disturbing combination of circumstances and I'm pretty certain that I could have done it better.

I woke up disgustingly late, having become hooked into a bizarre dream about a local comedian who was fighting for the Iraquis or something - probably a combination of my usual gig-based mental state and the news on the radio alarm (which I was successfully ignoring) pervading my consciousness.

Then I managed to have a really weird meal - Goulash with pasta - owing to my misunderstanding the nature of the food I was defrosting and reheating in the microwave from the deep-freeze section of my freezer. I made it in the first place, but I never label things in the freezer, possibly to create the opportunity for such hilarious food combinations to be made. Made it was and it was pleasant. Perhaps I would have done it differently if I'd have known before I boiled the pasta up.

Then time escaped me, and I got very little of my planned tasks done before I headed to Leeds to the gig I was doing tonight. I set off earlier than I might have done, anticipating traffice or car problems.

I arrived horrendously early and spent a lot of the time before the gig in a state of great boredom.

Then I asked to be placed later on in the running order - this was a mistake. The spot I was down for would have been better. As it was, I came onto stage when the audience's attention was at a low ebb and I did nothing to capture their imagination - gong! - shameful. Still, it's nice to know that 102 gigs into the business, I can still have a bigger failure than my first gig. At least I got one laugh then!

Then I drove home and decided to postpone the dieting in favour of an orgy of calories and comfort food at my favourite A1 services. This was foolish...

... almost as foolish as the poor judgement that I made when I hit a particular roundabout at around 40 miles an hour near my house - I had no idea that there was a car coming... I just didn't see him.

Unlike my stand-up gig, where I couldn't make them laugh to save my life, I was able to perform a series of steering, braking and accelerating actions within the car and drive myself out of trouble. Indeed, given the conditions of the road, I think I could well have earned the title stunt-motorist-of-the-year... if it hadn't been for my excessive stupidity in performing the stunt in the first place.

On balance, not a good day. I think I enjoyed the "Road Accident That Never Was" more than the gig, since it gave me more of a rush while it happened, a greater sense of well-being afterwards and I didn't die.


Post a Comment

<< Home

All content ©2001 - 2012 Ashley Frieze