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Friday, June 11

Beneath this elephant-like exterior there lies the heart of a tender being. I know... it sounds like crap... elephant crap to boot... but it's true. I'm a great big teddy bear, which makes it just that little bit harder for me to deal with the lows that come with the life of intended highs I'm aiming for.

I don't rate myself all that highly as an entertainer - I rarely entertain myself on stage... sometimes I do, but mostly, I enjoy what comes from the audience if they're enjoying what I'm giving them. I have 4 gigs this week, 2 gigs (one of which is The Musical!) next week and 6 gigs the following week. All of that involves me throwing a lot of positive energy at an audience. In addition, there's the physical stress of not sleeping properly, travelling miles and miles and eating what can only be described as rubbish. This is quite a lot to deal with.

Am I complaining? Well, sort of... and sort of not. I chose to do this and now I'm doing it. I'm paying the price of realising my own ambitions here. If I didn't want to do this I wouldn't be doing it. My only problem is that I'm left with precious little time for anything else. So I have to make it count.

I'm so very tired at the moment... need to find some energy from somewhere...

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