Notwithstanding the fact that some people are lexically disabled in a way which means they can't do this, in which case I'd recommend that they steer clear of jobs in which it's important, in much the way that paraplegics don't often do Window Cleaning jobs, I am sick to death of being surrounded by examples of our language being abused. I know that I'm responsible for a number of typographic errors. I know that my own sentence structure, often festooned with pointless asides, sometimes prevents, rather than encourages understand. Fair enough, this is my blog for people who want to hear it my way to read.

The problem, my friends, is that there are people out there writing signs and instructions for Joe Public without the ability to form correct sentences or spell words correctly. Don't even start me on punctuation.

I don't know why I like words so much, but I do. I like to read them. I like to make sense of them. I love to make double-meanings from them - hence the comedy stuff. I like, at the very least, to make a single meaning of them. I am not the best proof reader that I know, but I have a natural ability to spot a lexical error. There, I think, lies my problem.

Much like the bum note sung by the amateur singer, the typographical error, especially in something which has been printed, or elevated to a customer-facing role, stands out and spoils the experience. It lessens my opinion of the writer, the company involved, and the overall quality of whatever it is attached to.

Last night saw two examples:

• Directlineholidays.co.uk - after a bit of clunky wrangling with their website, they said that "We can't find the holiday you WHERE looking for" (my capitalisation). Some computer programmer, somewhere, who has probably got to use the SQL "WHERE" clause in code, has probably accidentally put this on the screen... but do people not proof read. If their website is clunky and their spelling is unchecked, how shit are their holidays going to be? I stopped using their site. They may have lost several hundred pounds' worth of business for me. Don't even think to question my use of the apostrophe in that last sentence!
• Tesco's Paint - Tesco is not the best punctuated of people. Still, every little helps, right? In the case of their paint, which should not be used on "bear wood", perhaps a bit of spelling might also have helped? Unless there is a tree, made out of bears, I think they probably mean "bare wood".

Sorry to rant about this, but it winds me up. I think that they should reintroduce corporal punishment in schools for bad spelling, except in certified cases of dyslexia, which I can hardly expect to spell any more than I could expect the fat kids to be able to run the 4 minute mile.