Man 1: What you got there?
Man 2: A box of meat. I'm going to lay it around my house for the rats.
Man 1: Rats?
Man 2: Yeah, the rats. I wanted to give them a treat. They're so cute. So I went to the shop and I asked for something to treat my rats and they gave me this box. I reckon it must be meat to feet them with. Look, there's a picture of a rat on the front and he is looking well fed.
Man 1: Rat meat?
Man 2: Yeah, though if you look inside, it's just a powder... I guess rats must like their meat powdered and sprinkled round.
Man 1: And that's meat, is it?
Man 2: Yes.
Man 1: Right... let me know how it goes.
[The following day]
Man 1: You look terrible, what happened?
Man 2: I've no idea. I put the meat out last night... and...
Man 1: And what?
Man 2: Let's just say that I've presided over 17 mini funerals this morning. There must have been something bad in that powdered meat I bought.
Man 1: Well, you know what they say, don't you?
Man 2: What?
Man 1: Man 2 is a bloody idiot who gives rats funerals.
Man 2: Who says that?
Man 1: It's an aphorism.
Man 2: A what?
Man 1: Look it up.
Anyway, I've gone off the point.
People Like Different Things
That's the point. What, to one person, is something good is, to someone else, not necessarily very good. People seemed to buy that CD made by Chico. Some people listen to R&B (Rubbish and Bollocks) or Hip Hop (Hideously Insidious People Harping On-about Pimps). Noone has assassinated Mike Skinner of The Streets for his crimes against music and the English language. It takes different strokes for different folks (I know this because I met one person with no feeling down his left side, and another with none down his right).
So, when last night, the movie Throw Momma From The Train was on, I watched it dumbfounded that a younger version of me (it was 1987, so I would have been 13) actually went to see this movie at the cinema. It had some merit. It was, in some ways, a tribute to the Hitchcock movie Strangers on a Train, which is now, apparently, being remade. There were also some excellent moments of comedy from Danny DeVito, though I felt Billy Crystal failed to shine. Overall, though, this was a highly hard to believe piece of formula writing which plodded along without any moments of grand hilarity.
However, go to the IMDB link for the movie and you'll find someone harping on about how good the film was. It takes all sorts, especially if you work for Bassetts.
I was remembering a number of Gavin Webster's jokes yesterday and how they're alternative takes on well-worn aphorisms. I resolved to make sure I keep my ears open for new endings to aphorisms. This blog entry may well be the most densely populated with crap gags of the month as a result.
They're my jokes, not his, but I'm just sorry to have mentioned him as an influence - it doesn't reflect well on him.