As a quick aside, the reason that the gig on Thursday could go well is that I might find myself closing an inaugural show in a new comedy club - expectations could well be low and all I'd have to do is perform my heart out and I'll get some sort of response. However, it could go horribly badly if the opening night turns out to be poorly supported, or poorly disciplined. In the worst case there's an entire bar full of people actively competing with what's going on on stage - trying hard to talk over the comedy. Having a guitar in this situation can make that worse as people are prone to talking over music performance. The second worst that can happen is that a few people turn up and are basically disinterested. Shows like that make you question whether it's ever worth it to do a gig... and of course the number of gigs I get to do in big well-disciplined clubs is relatively few because I've yet to make enough of a name for myself.
I've a few tricks up my sleeve. I managed to turn a horrible room into an encore in Watford though it nearly killed me. Incidentally, this was the venue where I met the guy who's running this gig in Colchester. We'll see whether this is a good or bad omen in due course.
Failing to Wake
My lack of sleep on Sunday night, caused by a random ailment, which I don't feel completely left me, had left me with a sleep deficit. I couldn't really get to sleep last night - this was due, in part, to the repeats of "This Life", which I didn't really get the first time around and certain felt no different about the second time around. In my opinion it was a trying-too-hard-to-be-gritty-and-different pile of pseudo-drama with the editing style, intended to be different, making it feel like a poorly patched together incoherence with no sense of completeness to a scene, nor a sense of continuity between scenes. Perhaps I've been spoiled by slickly-made American nonsense, or perhaps "This Life" is just shit.
This morning, therefore, I woke up with something preying on my half-asleep mind. I looked up at the clock and confirmed what it was. It was that I was running about 10 minutes late.
I still managed to get just over an episode's worth of "I'm sorry I haven't a clue" listened to in the car on the way to work, which is an excellent substitute for arriving on time.
I've mentioned before the awkwardness that I feel related to leaving a company. Feel free to read this post which, somewhere among the words, mentions my general company-leaving anxieties. At the moment, post redundancies, people are leaving the company I work for. Some of them are leaving after working out an extended notice period. Some have taken the chance to reconsider what they want from a job, and have looked for a new challenge.
It's quite disconcerting to constantly receive emails suggesting drinks in a pub I've never heard of with people whom I've never knowingly met. Such is the size of the company I work for. I'm staying put. Things are just about getting interesting. Any day now I might get back into the spirit of losing entire days to the rush to get things done. Then maybe I'll be rushing to work because I want to get back into it, rather than because I'm running late.