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Global Domination

Locations of visitors to this page

Friday, December 8


I am really enjoying the current breed of spam. This example dropped into my mailbox today:

This spam has everything. It has an odd subject line - "Re: complimen etceter" - which hooks you in because you think it might be a reply to something and slightly misspelt at that. It has a fake recipient - apparently I'm "Geronimo Sink". It uses embedded images to put the real message on your screen - they're selling "Pfizer"s, which we must assume mean Viagra, but are probably just some dust from their own lab's floor, coloured blue and stuck in a packet. Most importantly, there's the random blether, which is probably automatically cribbed from various online sources, to make it impossible for a spam filter to work out whether this is actually mass mail - each mail will have its own nonsensical paragraphs.

When I see words, regardless of the intent behind them, I make my own interpretation. Here's my reaction to what was spammed.

You know youre a-sweatin in the engine room.
someone who sort of makes up the tunes,
then writes down the stuff

We're kind of going all rap here, aren't we?

And when he's had enough, he sweeps the engine room with his broom.
I'm talkin' bout sweeping, perpetual cleaning
The engine is hot and you get my meaning
My buddy is weeping and his buddy is sleeping
We'll kick some butts and then turn some sheep in.

See, I can be random too!

Yes, Madonette said, and all eyes turned her way. What is the
Killerbot behind me. Is that clear?

Wow. The science fiction part.

Brick, he said.
And a section from a DIY manual's FAQ.

We asked an expert bricklayer what's the main thing you need for bricklaying. Brick, he said.

Me me - me
Typical. It's all "me me me"

There was the distant thank of a valve opening and cold water gushed its sample from his mouth.
Horror. Aagh, the water. Aagh, the sample (sample?). Aaagh - my mouth!

Gentleman stranger I can now say. Final tired eyes,
That's right, gentleman stranger. Final your tired eye with new eye-quin-ox. Just five drops of these and your eyes will be history.

I followed the others. Outdoors into a field of ripening off the suit-and a lot of flesh with it.
Actually, I don't think that suits grow in field. I've been wrong before.

The suit was padded. He was
Sound the alarm . . . she gasped. Disaster destruction!

A bit of ADHD going on here. Either that, or the disaster struck just as they were going to explain more about the padded suit.

Hypocritical narrow-minded bigoted moron.
Not my best review, but thanks for thinking about me.


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