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Friday, March 23

Something Told Me It Would Be Shit

Last night we went out for food and then to the movies. I was feeling under the weather and needed to relax. The food was good, as was the pre-movie playing of the quiz machine and eating of too much ice cream. However, the movie... Jebus H Wannamaker Christ. What the fahey!?

We went to see Premonition, which, out of ten, scores PI - that's about 3.14159. The reason it doesn't even score an integer is because I want the people who made and marketed the film to have something better to do with their time than write another thing similar. They can, instead, spend their time writing out PI - my review score for their film. Given that PI has an infinite number of decimal places, this will keep them busy and out of harm's way.

This isn't the first time I've watched Sandra Bullock in a time-traveling film with deep inconsistencies in its plot. Previously it was a bit of a girly movie and was cute enough not to matter that much - it even introduced me to a Paul McCartney track which I still listen to now. However, this movie was meant to be more of a chiller, and had, on the plus side, some interesting use of photography and music to create mood.

The plot, on the other hand, was flimsy and full of cliches. To make matters worse, the film made extensive use of flashbacks at the end to bring itself to a conclusion. I'd say climax, but it wasn't a climax. It was an infuriating wrap up of the "evidence" which left me wanting to wring someone's neck. It was like there was no ending, so they just thought they'd stop. I think they probably had the idea for the film and started making it before they knew where it was going. So, they borrowed the usual trick of having "someone who knows everything about this sort of thing", in this case, a priest in a church who mysteriously had a pre-prepared book of post-it-note-marked premonition cases (oooh, X-filesy), and who explained that it was probably an absence of something in Sandra Bullock's life (a good agent!?) that meant she was encountering a weird week (where she seemed to flit between days out of order). This man's advice, apparently, meant that everything could be solved if she did nothing and let nature take its course... or maybe she had control over her destiny, though that didn't seem to make sense either. So maybe the whole thing was pointless.

No reference was made to the fact that she was put in a mental home briefly in the film, but ended up not being there by the end. I suspect that the writers are now in that very mental home, hopefully tied to a chair.

With a twat whispering a commentary to his tart of a girlfriend behind me, unaware of either my stares, or the meaning of the sounds "Ssh" and "Will you stop talking?", and an ending which made me want to scream, I'd have to say that my expectations that Premonition would be a great heap of steaming turd came true. Spooky. Why did I pay good money to see it?

Fate.

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