The home of the haikulator

 

Links

My Stand-up & gigs
The Coding Craftsman
BurberryAndBroccoli
MarkInventions

The Musical!
Incredible Productions

apostrophell
backlash
incredible
haiku


Previous Posts

Events
On the train
Conscience
It's Easter
Getting Passionate About The Solution
Well, tickle my ass an' call me Mary Poppins...
I Almost Have A Shower
Richard Herring Is...
Little Shop, Little Shop Of Horrors
DJ Bobo

Blog Archives

January 1970
October 2001
November 2001
December 2001
January 2002
February 2002
March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
August 2009
September 2009
January 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
October 2011
December 2011
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
May 2014
July 2014
January 2015
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
May 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
January 2016
February 2016
March 2016
April 2016
May 2016
July 2016
August 2017

Global Domination

Locations of visitors to this page

Monday, April 2

More Coded Messages

What do people really mean when they write emails. See the hidden subtext in this recent mail apparently "offering" free plants to people. The refurbishment of the office has rendered these plants surplus to requirements:

All not "Dear All", or even "Hi everyone", just "All" - it means "I'm in charge and you are my minions" – as part of the office reconfiguration yes, he really wrote "reconfiguration" that's because he's trying to impress people with the power of his amazing "business vocabulary" the internal plants (in the large pots) so not the ones outside in the flower beds are no longer required. There are circa 50 and they have been there since circa 1996, which is APPROXIMATELY when my brain stopped working like a human's and became an officious robot! throughout the building. Please feel free to take a plant home with you if you must, even though I feel like I'm condoning theft, but please be aware that you will be responsible for removing the plant from the building yourself yes, you bloody miserable bastards, I'm not providing free transport for your larceny, so don't even try and don't dare complain to me if they're too big for you to STEAL. Any plants which are remaining on site or "any plants left" next Thursday 5th April will be removed by the contractor. Please note that the plants are quite heavy so please exercise caution when moving them! I bet you stupid thieving bastards will steal the wrong plants and do your backs in, so don't come crying to me. I even put an exclamation mark on the end of this sentence to show you how indignant I am about the imbeciles I have to deal with.

The subtext is so obvious.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

All content ©2001 - 2012 Ashley Frieze