I have a very dysfunctional relationship with the comedy forums of Chortle, the uk comedy website. I should go on there frequently and look for gigs and contacts. I do. However, I should not pay much attention to either the attention seeking people on there or the comments posted on the thread all about me. That's right. A comedian may get their own thread with people commenting on their act, or if they're very lucky, their personality. Yay.

Last night I did a gig that was fun. I made it seem like I was doing better than perhaps I was. I listened to the recording of it this morning on the way into work. I didn't die. In fact the music really raised the room. Then I stopped the music and things fell a bit. My confidence and accuracy with the spoken stuff wasn't quite there. In fact there's a long way to go with it. Yet still the promoter chose to give me a glowing review online. Nice guy.

Unless absolutely necessary, I won't respond to reviews directly. Luckily a fellow act, also on last night, posted a fair balance to the more glowing review. It was the points we discussed and agreed together during the gig. The two flavours of what I do don't quite blend and may not ever work like that. I call it the gear change. It's not smooth. If I'm to mix up two styles there either needs to be linking material or I need to choose which style to do for which gig.

I'm so sad that I reread all the comments about me from the first. They didn't affect me as much as when I first read them way back when they were written. Even the ones describing my contribution to comedy as a lift to the gig, by which they meant transport for the other acts. I'm the main critic I have to face, and I'm not going to give myself an easy ride.