However, until I actually know the outcome of these intended prosecutions, there's nothing I can do except carry on as normal. I shall, at the very least, drive sensibly - getting further driving convictions would be really foolish at any stage in the next 4 years or so.
I'll be honest. Wearing a nice new shirt doesn't ameliorate the very real fear I have that I may no longer be allowed to drive within a few weeks. Even if it's only a 6 month driving ban, the idea of being without a car is one which makes me both very worried and very sad. It's not so much that I like driving, though I obviously do. It's more that having a car seems to give me a freedom that I simply wouldn't have.
I can't gig the way I do without a car - the public transport system isn't up to it. I can't get to work the way I do without a car. Sure, I might be able to take a bus (there is one - I already checked) but a 10 minute sprint at my time would be turned into a one-hour-long slog at someone else's schedule.
Losing 2 hours a day to the bus would be bad. That time would, essentially, be dead time. Okay, so maybe I'd get to read a book, listen to the radio or my mp3 player, but it's not a good swap is it? I get to swap the freedom for going to gigs for a couple of hours in a sweaty inconvenient bus. No thank you. I don't want that.
Today, however, I have my car. I have my new shirt on. I have the paperwork sent off for the new job, with the application for my new company car included. I may as well hope for the best. I chose the one with the lowest CO2 emissions as my first choice. That will be nice - assuming I get to drive it. I looked at the acceleration and the top speed briefly and then remembered how I got into trouble and thought I may aswell not bother worrying about that.
So today I shall be optimistic. I'm even optimistic that I'll have voice enough to do my gig tonight. I shall be on the train for tonight's gig. This is a choice which owes itself to the fact that it's the most convenient way in and out of London and also the fact that I'd like to spend some time sitting down with a computer tonight, and a train journey is a suitable enough opportunity. I don't know that I'd want to get my laptop out on a bus. I guess I may find out.
There's always cycling. Hell, I might even get fit.