Last night's gig:
Guy in audience: I wish I was fat.
Me: Why? It's a pain in the arse.
Guy: No. It's not. It's different.
Me: If by "different", you mean "sweaty and awkward", then yes. Is that what you want?
Guy: Yeah. Great.
Me: We should have sex. That too would be sweaty and awkward.
Oh, the hilarity.
Guy in audience: I wish I was fat.
Me: Why? It's a pain in the arse.
Guy: No. It's not. It's different.
Me: If by "different", you mean "sweaty and awkward", then yes. Is that what you want?
Guy: Yeah. Great.
Me: We should have sex. That too would be sweaty and awkward.
Oh, the hilarity.
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