Quick aside - I ended up having a good gig and, though I felt like blaming the person who booked me for this gig for the conditions I found the room in when I arrived, I also can't truly hold it against him. He's a good fellow and it was just one of those things.
I'll rewind to the start of the day. I'd planned a morning of DIY with the gig in the evening. This ended up turning into a day out shopping, followed by dinner. Dinner I would have to rush away from to do a gig. So, already things were moving away from the plan before the gig brought its own spanners to throw in some works or other.
Onto the gig then. I arrived in a pub and wondered where the gig was. It was in the main body of the pub, on a Saturday night, with a general Saturday night crowd - not in there for the comedy, nor had they paid to be there. Not a good start.
Stage? No, but there's a raised seating area with a ballustrade in front. Microphone? Yes. Stand? No. Can I shout it at the audience with no stand/mic combo? No.
I nervously watched the room, trying to fathom out how they might or might not work. I couldn't see it. The question was wrong "How do you make this gig work?" the answer was "Why do you keep calling this a gig?".
However, never prejudge the room 100%. After a bit of help from the bar staff, we turned a regular common or garden sweeping brush into a mic stand. I've dreamed of doing this. In this case, it was gaffer taped to the ballustrade and then the mic was taped to the top. I found that by leaning forward, with one elbow on the ballustrade, I could use the mic, appear to be leaning into the crowd and still have enough energy and voice left, after the trials of my cold, to whack out 30 minutes of Ashley bing bang bong.
There were laughs. Even I thought the mike stand was funny. It's what turned my mood a bit.
I did the job and left. With £15. Wow. I must be so lucky to do what I love and be so rewarded for it...