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Tuesday, October 7

I Can Do This

That has to be my mantra for today. I can do this. I can type on a keyboard that has a dodgy letter "t". I can get myself out of bed and go to work when I'm feeling like a microwaved poo. I can write a sarcastic song about the credit crunch. I can go and do a gig in London and get home at a reasonable hour. I can reschedule my October calendar around trips away and feeling ill, so that I survive it to November.

It's got to be a can-do, because the cost of not being able to do these things is considerable. It's my way to do what I do and make it all work. I like to achieve the surprising, the unusual and the bizarre. It's the way I operate. I certainly hate something that's marked as impossible... I don't hate it, actually; I see it as a hill I must attempt to climb.

It's a good job that the hills I see are metaphoric, or I'd be halfway up Everest by now, giggling something about "because it's there" and whistling. I'd also be singing the song that's now stuck in my head. This is the song that goes "Bing bong, bing bang bong. Bing bong bing bong bong." Don't ask me why it's stuck in my head, or even when I wrote it. It's rubbish. Eek.

Anyway, I'm not mountaineering at the moment, I'm just surviving one of my regularly silly months: October. I never set out to make it silly - it just does it all by itself.

In bizarre synchronicity news: I nearly hit a rabbit on the way to Tesco tonight. This matches a similar incident last night where I swerved to miss what may have been nothing, or may have been a deer on a different road. It's clearly swerving season. I was fine, the rabbit survived, and I only got a small hit of lovely lovely adrenaline. Whoopsie do.

A fair amount of patience was required journeying tonight. There is always traffic into London, but there was a staggering amount on the M4 coming out of the place. Some roadworks in the middle of the London -> Reading route basically meant that three lanes were merging into one. I watched a small minded woman in a small car, make her way from the outer lane into the lefthand lane and then speak very angrily (judging by her hand movements) with her passenger, while closing any gap between her car and the car in front by accelerating up to a high speed and then braking hard. This is no so much driving as lurching forwards. I think she was trying to avoid anyone sneaking into the gap in front.

Perhaps driving isn't a competition, race or indeed challenge of any sort. It's just about getting from one place to another in conjunction with all the other people just trying to do the same.

Of course, if anyone pithers around in front of me, I will shoot them with my front mounted laser-powered rocket-based flamethrower, but that's only to be expected: they deserve it!

The gig tonight? Well, I had a nice time. I did that because the audience had a nice time. I don't just go out there and have my own little exclusive world of fun in front of them. And it's not a case of saying "Well I had a nice time" as if to suggest that others didn't. That would be a reflection of one of my favourite off-stage "compliments" which involved a pushy woman coming up to me and saying "Well I thought you were funny". I may as well have said "thanks mum", though this was in Birmingham and my mother was nowhere near at the time. The implication that the woman knew she was in the minority didn't make me feel any better as a performer. Still, if you can make one person laugh... in a larger audience that's not really enough!

So in tonight's gig, I did a bit of messing about. I blethered. It was fun. I got laughs and I came home.

Had things run a little tighter for time, I'd probably be doing DIY now, but I'll save that for tomorrow night and also Friday night. I have plenty of DIY to do, but I can't really set about it so late of an evening. Instead, there was beetroot salad and there will be a shower before I contemplate reading myself to sleep.

I can do many things in a day.

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