Yet, the reason why this is so scathing is not that a rare few are deluded, but more that every comedian must, to some extent, deliberately fool themselves about how good they are. Stand up, on stage and off, is a confidence trick. You have to be more confident than you are, and then bluff your way into deserving it. The better you get, the less deluded you proved to be, but the higher you have to shoot.

Crystal clarity on your own limits, your real place in the comedy world, and where your ambitions ought to reach is the LAST thing you need when you're trying to muster up the bookings, material and responses to said material at said bookings.

The Fringe is a place where you can really inflate your bubble. Especially if you go out there, gig a lot and experiment a lot. It is also a place where you can see people doing things you cannot do.

In previous Fringes, I think I had a much bigger bubble, more optimism, more of a can do anything attitude. This Fringe I have been up and down. Kind of on purpose. I have done performances I can be pleased with, in context, I've done things which didn't work. Meh. I have seen shows and actually thought "I can't even imagine doing that" and seen other equally brilliant things and thought "yeah, I could do that if I bothered to".

This is dancing on the border of my necessary delusion. It's quite healthy and probably good for my prospects as a humble, but ambitious practitioner of the art and craft I so love.

Not having a show this year has changed my outlook. Gone was the venue envy and the competitive nature of the rat race that is a performer's Fringe. In its place is an admiration for what can be and how it might be achievable... Especially by people with talent!!!