Me: Can I have a large black Americano please
Her: A what?
Me: A large black Americano coffee.
Her: Are you being awkward?
Me: No. If anything, it's probably the simplest coffee you do.
Her: Do you want milk in it?
Me: No. That's why I asked for it black.
Her: But they all come out black and sometimes people put milk in.
Me: Yes, but if I'd wanted milk, I wouldn't have used the word black.
Supervisor: It's certainly Monday morning.
Me: It looks like you need this coffee more than I do.