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Thursday, October 26

The Scales Fell From My Eyes

I started that title off with the intention of making a vague pun on the word "scale" as I'm about to make some comment about weightloss. However, having brought it up, I realised that I've no idea what the expression literally means. I think, figuratively, it relates to someone discovering that their vision is no longer obscured by something - in this case scales. However, there's a neat discussion on the subject which I found online and answers that one.

So, stuff falling from me.

Well, yesterday I got a bit of a bout of a stomach complaint. As a result, my weight dropped between an morning and an evening weigh in. Though in the evening, I was also wearing no clothes and in the morning, I was fully dressed, including my jacket, I still was quite impressed to see my weight drop by approximately 5 pounds between weigh-ins.

If I actually weigh what the scales suggested I do, then I think I'd be about two pounds more than I remember my lowest-weight reaching when I last lost weight. However, all this random weighing at random times of the day is totally unscientific. Plus, I know that I've still "got a problem with the food", which I guess is a euphemism of some sort.

I read the blog of a stand-up comedian, whom I know from when I lived in Newcastle. He's currently going through the post-relationship weightloss programme - I'm fairly certain it's a standard pattern. He's got all the pleasure of improved self-esteem and body image with the confusion of trying to work out what to wear when you're not really used to clothing the sort of body you've got - combined with the additional confusion of trying to work out who you are, post relationship.

There's a rule of thumb. If you take the length of the relationship in years and add one, you've got the number of months you might expect to have to take to adjust to life outside of that relationship. In truth, I think that provides you with an underestimate. There's a lot of adjusting to do to get comfortable in your skin if you think that you've been rejected in some way by someone close to you. In some ways reading the blog of this guy, as he goes through this process, reminds me of my similar experiences.

My own road to recovery involved me taking control of my life and bringing various activities into it which were there as self-defence mechanisms against reverting back to the rejectable individual I was when things ended. Of course life moves on with its own pace and its own sense of change. The hardest thing for someone to do is keep abreast of the changes in their life and do the right thing persistently. A best effort is all you can hope for.

Presently, I'm far enough into my residency down south to be very very keen to set down roots and stop feeling like things are temporary or make-shift until the next change. I need an anchor. I think this is one of several after-shocks I would naturally expect to feel after jumping ship from the more deeply rooted existence I had in Newcastle.

If I could write down where I would like to live and how I would like to spend my time, how much of it would correlate with what I do right now? And how much would it take to move towards those things? And should I?


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