Here is an excerpt from an email that just came around:


I'll admit that it's not the "Burnley" office, but I've renamed it to avoid being too specific. Anyway, look at that sentence. What the hell does it mean? I think it means:


It's clouded in mystery, though. Here are the key phrases of mystery:

• I have had it brought to my attention - someone told me
• a number of you - everyone
• unsure as to the - erm, I don't know what "as to the" is supposed to mean - perhaps it means "about"
• Facilities structure - why the capital F? what structure? The building? The organisation? In fact, it means "who's in charge" - my guess is that the lunatics are running the asylum
• moving forward - the only people who are in charge, moving forward, are bus drivers (unless reversing). Perhaps "from now" is what was meant.

Why can't people use plain English? Or, put less plainly: I've had the issue raised that, moving forwards, as to the usage of the language of English, the Plainness Factor is significantly under the targets a number of people find Preferable.

Is there a school you can go to to learn how to speak in such an officious and irritating way?