Ashley smells smoke, glances at the man next to him who has lit up a pipe, gives him a knowing look. Beat. Then he addresses this man, a white-haired skinny septagenarian in a pin stripe suit with a leather briefcase. Owing to the smartness and maturity of the man, Ashley addresses him formally.
Ashley Does it cover pipes, sir?
Ashley The smoking ban. Do you think it covers pipes?
Man I don't know. (Petulantly) And I don't care. (Beat) Do you mind?
Ashley You know, I'm not sure I do.
Bless the old petulant man flouting the legislation that has been in force a mere 23 days out of his vast pipe-smoking life.
A couple are standing in full view of everyone in the centre of the concourse. They're in discussion. They had been seen walking back and forth rapidly a couple of times prior to this. All of a sudden, the woman hurls her carrier bag at the man, some shoes fall out.
Woman Those shoes cost £50!
Man Well, you shouldn't have thrown them at me!
The woman then walks off to the right. The man, picking up the carrier bag, heads off in the opposite direction. The onlookers have noticed. Some are smiling. Ashley addresses the nearest one.
Ashley You've got to admit. That was pretty funny.
Nice Guy Yeah. It was. She threw the shoes at him.
Ashley It's such a coupley thing to do. It wasn't about the shoes, though, was it.
Nice Guy Probably not.
Ashley No. She was probably thinking "You don't love me, and I'm going to throw these shoes at you to prove it".
Nice Guy Yeah.
Ashley It's one of the side-effects of being in a relationship. You married?
Nice Guy Yes. I'm onto marriage number two.
Ashley She a shoe-thrower?
Nice Guy No. I learned my lesson. This one's better.
Ashley Was the previous one a shoe-thrower? Metaphorically, at least?
Nice Guy Yes. Yes she was.
Ashley Still, at least it's funny when it's happening to someone else.
Waterloo station is the place to hang out at night.